Her Daily News

Beth Turnage from Astrology Explored is my guest writer for today. She has a lot of experience in the corporate world, and has offered to give advice on handling problems in the work place. Her first post is on the bully boss and the steps to take in dealing with one.

The Bully Boss

You don’t know what happened. Your work was respected. Then Mr. X was brought in to manage your department. Suddendly, nothing you do is good enough. Worse yet, Mr. X uses your work as an example of what not to do and does so publicly. As the knot grows in your stomach as you go to work each day, so does Mr. X’s attack on your work. He might even start making “jokes” at your expense and your co-workers laugh; some of them nervously, but they laugh. Then they start questioning your work, though you’ve worked with them for years. You notice the people you thought were your friends aren’t speaking to you much anymore. You aren’t imagining things. You are a victim. A victim of a bully boss.

Bully bosses pick their victims from the people who won’t challenge them, either because the victims are professional enough to respect the position even though they don’t respect the person or because he or she senses you are the weakest link in the chain. Either way, for them, they have more to gain by humiliating you than not. Whatever sick reason motivates them, it is your career that is being damaged and your health is that is being affected. You need to do something, but what?

First, take stock of your internal allies at work. Have you cultivated the respect of the people above your boss, or are you a face in the crowd?

How big is your company.? A bigger company has more to lose in terms if faced with the problems caused by a bully boss. Retention of good employees is an expensive proposition.. A smaller company, with less to lose, or managed by an owner, might not have enough knowlege of whats at stake to handle the problem effectively.

What are the avenues for complaints, and how effective have they’ve been in the past? Human Resource departments are there to protect the company’s interests, not yours. A complaint filed with the Human Resources Department should only be made as a last strategic move before legal action is taken. An open door policy with higher ups can be useful if approached correctly.

Have other people complained about this person before you? If you are the first person to complain about the bully, the complaint will be labeled as a “personality conflict.”, if you are the fifth, a pattern emerges.

What do you have to lose? Can you leave this job without a substantial loss of benefits? Are you able to find another job in your field? Let’s face it, if your company does such a poor job of hiring and monitoring their management, what else are they messing up?

What to do?

Consider your options. The final resort, legal action, hurts you as much as it hurts the company. It labels you as a “troublemaker” whether or not it is true, and it can hurt your chances for future employment.

Sometimes it is easiest and best to find another job. If you want to stay and fight for your job, you need to be careful in the steps you take.

Your strategy might include:

Having a private chat with your boss and let him know that you want to do whatever it takes to improve your performance. Ask for specific suggestions and write them down as as he speaks. Document the conversation in a tone that suggests you are only interested in a being a better employee. Do not expect the boss to improve his behavior.

Document specific instances of abuse, including who witnesses to the abuse.

Have another talk with the boss expressing your concern that no matter what you do, you don’t seem to meet his expectations. Ask again for a list of specific suggestions to improve your perfomance. Document the conversation.

Document the next instance of abuse.

The next step is to step up and go to the higher ups. This is tricky and it may not work, so this action is to be taken with knowlege that there is risk attached to this strategy, up to and including the possibility of losing your job. However, don’t hesitate. Studies show that most people targeted by a bully end up losing their jobs anyway.

Do not go to your boss’ boss. He or she has something to lose if his or her brillant hire doesn’t work out. Go to the boss’ boss’ boss and have a low key chat, which you will also document. Say how much you like working at the company, and you thought you’ve done well, but lately your performance is not satisfying the new boss. Despite your solicitations for advice, you are unable to get enough instruction from the new boss to satisfy his expectations. You express that you only want to perform well at work, and you are willing to do what it takes to perform well at your job. Ask him for specific suggestions. At this point the boss will usher you out of the office and wonder what the heck is going on in Mr. X’s department and that he better to speak to Y to find out. Or not. In any case what comes down next determines your course of action, but you are well prepared to take the next step should things do not improve for you at work.

And that step is hire a lawyer.

Helpful links about bullies in the workplace:

http://psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-19950901-000021.html
http://www.bankrate.com/brm/news/advice/bully-boss1.asp

Please join us again for Beth’s next topic: The Difference Between Being Picked On and Having Your Perfomance Evaluated.

women, working women, workplace, work problems, problem boss, work strategies

Women in military service have long struggled to be recognized not only for the contributions they have made in the past, but the contributions they could make if so allowed. The debate still rages in America, from the family kitchen table to the Pentagon itself. Whatever the final outcome of this debate, the sacrifices made by females in serving their country cannot be denied. Brigadier General Wilma L. Vaught, USAF (Ret.) is president of the Women’s Memorial Fund and has made it her mission to bring equal attention to her counterparts, both historical and current. The Women in Military Service for America Memorial Foundation faced a long and difficult battle in our own country to bring attention and a lasting tribute to America’s military women. The commitment of the Foundation and of Brigadier General Vaught paid off with the dedication of the Women’s Memorial at Arlington National Cemetary on October 18, 1997.

Basic Facts About the Women’s Memorial

WHAT: The only major national memorial honoring all servicewomen—past, present and future. The Women In Military Service For America Memorial honors the more than two million women who have served or are serving in or with the US Armed Forces starting with the American Revolution.

WHERE: The 4.2 acre Ceremonial Entrance to Arlington National Cemetery in our nation’s capital.

WHEN: Open to the public every day except Christmas. Dedicated October 18, 1997. Groundbreaking held June 22, 1995.

WHO: Spearheaded by the Women In Military Service For America Memorial Foundation, Inc. The Foundation, founded in 1985, is an IRS designated 501(c)(3) non-profit organization.

THOSE HONORED: All US servicewomen, past, present and future, including living or deceased women veterans; Active Duty, Reserve, Guard and US Public Health Service uniformed women; and women in the Coast Guard auxiliary and Civil Air Patrol. The Memorial also honors women who served overseas during conflicts, in direct support of the armed forces, in organizations such as the Red Cross, USO and Special Services; and members of the US Public Health Service Cadet Nurse Corps. The Foundation is seeking names, addresses, photos and memorable experiences of women who have served to be included in the Memorial’s Register, an interactive computer database available at the Memorial. Deceased servicewomen from any era or those civilian women who served with other civilian organizations can be registered by family members, friends and organizations.

HISTORY: Congressional resolutions to honor military women were introduced by Senator Frank Murkowski (R-AK) and Congresswoman Mary Rose Oakar (D-OH). Signed into law by President Reagan in November 1986.

DESIGN: By Marion Gail Weiss and Michael Manfredi of Weiss/Manfredi Architects, New York City, winners of a national competition. The Memorial features an upper terrace with views of Arlington National Cemetery and the monuments of Washington, DC. On the terrace, there is an arc of large glass panels on which quotations from and about servicewomen are etched. This arc of glass introduces natural light into the Memorial’s Education Center. At the lower terrace, in front of the Hemicycle wall, are the reflecting pool and Court of Valor. The Education Center, located behind the Hemicycle, houses a Hall of Honor, exhibit gallery, theater, and the computer database of servicewomen called the Register. Through the Register, visitors may access photos, military histories and the individual stories of registered women.

FUNDING: The total cost of building the Memorial was $22 million. In building the Memorial, support came from federal grants; proceeds from the sale of commemorative silver dollars; and corporate, organization, and individual donations. The Memorial Foundation maintains and operates the Memorial Education Center; manages an archive and research collection relating to women in the military; conducts an aggressive education program; builds exhibits showcasing the different eras in which women have served using text, images, memorabilia and artifacts; and continues to register servicewomen past and present.

DONATIONS AND REGISTRATIONS: Donations and registrations of servicewomen can be sent to: Women In Military Service For America Memorial, Dept. 560, Washington, DC, 20042-0560. Telephone: 800-222-2294 or 703-533-1155. FAX: 703-931-4208. E-mail: hq@womensmemorial.org. Web site www.womensmemorial.org. Commemorative coins can be ordered by calling 800-222-2294. The Foundation is a registered participant in the Combined Federal Campaign, the annual workplace fund raising drive conducted by the US government for all military, civilian agency and postal workers worldwide and the National Capital Area United Way Campaign. In state and corporate campaigns, donors may designate “Women In Military Service Memorial Foundation” on their pledge cards.

SOURCE: womensmemorial.org

WOMEN IN THE IRAQ WAR

In the aftermath of September 11, 2001, women have continued to serve in America’s military, and have gained rights not allowed in previous conflicts. When remembering the victims of that 9/11 attack, we must also remember the sacrifices these women have made. Pro- or anti-war opinions do not matter. The fact is that these ladies deserve our respect and our gratitude as they continue to struggle not only to serve their President, but their gender. I urge you to visit icasualties.org and read through the list of the female fatalities to date in the Iraq War. Their legacy for equality can only be carried on if we carry it for them in our memories.

Female Fatalities

War Casualty List

9/11, Iraq War, women in the military, Women’s Memorial Fund, female casualties, Wilma Vaught, war casualties

Are you miffed with a male? Do you want to rage about something he did, without anyone knowing your name? Then He Did What.com is the place for you!

The website allows women to sign up under an anonymous username and post anything about a member, or members, of the opposite sex. Ostensibly, the purpose is to get advice from other women on how to handle difficult situations. Sometimes, though, it just feels good to vent about something and hear somebody else say, “He did what?!”

The posts on He Did What.com vary from divorce to abuse to affairs to petty arguments. One woman opened up with “this fool talked me into marrying him.” Another admitted having an affair with her married co-worker, and now he won’t leave her alone. There are also lines such as, “You know what I hate the most, skanks…” or “not once has my boyfriend cleaned the effin toilet.” Come on, ladies, how can you not love a site that lets you say what you want about him without telling anybody your name?

If you have one nerve left, and he’s on it, then let women around the world breathe a collective sigh with you and shout, “He did what?!” Sign up for your anonymous account and soon you’ll be bitchin’ with the best of them.

Oh, and just so you know, the guys have their secret place, too, at She Did What.org.

women, relationships, women only websites, advice

The National Institute of Health started Heart Truth and the Red Dress campaign to focus on women and heart health. Heart disease is the #1 killer of women, and women’s symptoms often differ from men’s. Thanks to information campaigns like Heart Truth, the majority of women are now aware that heart disease is their biggest health concern. You are also probably aware that certain risk factors increase your chances for a significant cardiac event. But is your doctor aware of what your risk factors are?

No matter your age, it is important for your physician to know your full history and any information that might put you at increased concern for heart disease. The following information provided by the NIH will help you get started on your discussion with your doctor. If you don’t have a check-up scheduled anytime soon, make an appointment. Preventive measures and early detection are your greatest guard against a heart attack, and studies show that 2/3 of women who suffer a heart attack never fully recover. (more…)

Her Daily News sources reported seeing Julia Sugarbaker with Whoopi Goldberg after The View on which Ms. Goldberg stated Michael Vick supported dog fights because he was from the South. Ms. Sugarbaker, well known for her defense of the South on Designing Women, reportedly ranked Goldberg’s statements in the same category as the news reporter who once wrote that Southerners eat dirt. Our confidential sources tell us they were able to eavesdrop on the conversation between Sugarbaker and Goldberg, and the Atlanta-based designer was not there for a friendly meeting.

Sugarbaker: I would like a word with you, Mizz Goldberg.

Goldberg: Julia! Of course! Where’ve you been, baby?

Sugarbaker: Well, it would seem I have been sitting in my gazebo sipping Mint Juleps and watching dogs fight. That is what you said, isn’t it, that we in the South just love a good dog fight?

Goldberg: Did I say that?

Sugarbaker: Well, you certainly did allude to it on your show today. But you see, Mizz Goldberg, we Southerners love our dogs. Why, in the state of Alabama, there is even a coon dog graveyard. The best and most beloved coon dogs get to spend eternity in their very own cemetary, complete with headstones and tree lined walkways. To imply that the unfortunate Mr. Vick fought, and murdered mind you, dogs because he was Southern is just ludicris. I suppose if one could sell dirt pies while waiting for Ol’ Yeller to bare his teeth, it might be more attractive for some, but I can assure you, Mizz Goldberg, I have never attended such an event. The South as a general rule is not in the habit of rearing heartless, cold-blooded, canine-murderers whose only goal in life is to ruin a perfectly good dog. No, Mizz Goldberg, it takes years of self-absorbed greed and holier-than-thou conceit to produce such as he, whether he be Southern, a Yankee, or a little green man from Mars. You see, it is people like you and that Yankee reporter saying we fight dogs, or eat dirt, that perpetuates the ignorance of true Southern culture. We love our dogs, Mizz Goldberg, just as we love our kids, our families, and our heritage. If you wish, you may continue to sit on your designer chair in your overly lit studio with your delusions that people actually give a hoot about what you have to say. But the next time you pick on someone’s culture, I suggest you take some time to truly learn what it is you are pretending to know. We Southerners, Mizz Goldberg, do not take lightly to being picked on, and Hell itself will freeze over before we allow you to pick on our dogs.

Our sources tell us that Ms. Sugarbaker then left the scene. No reply was obtained, nor sought, from Ms. Goldberg.

No representation is made that Ms. Goldberg frequently speaks with fictional characters.

The View, Whoopi Goldberg, humor, Southern Culture, Designing Women, Michael Vick, dog fights

In my first week writing Her Daily News, I posted a poll of readers’ interests to find out what vistors are looking for from HDN. The topic base is so broad that I am attempting to discover what it is you want from this site. It has been about three weeks now, and these are the results of the poll so far:

• Current World News: 21%
• Shopping/Products/Offers: 11%
• Women’s Health: 32%
• Women in History: 16%
• Women’s Rights Around the World: 16%
• Other Response: Profiles of World-Changing Women: 5%

It is clear that health issues are a big concern for women right now. I will attempt to bring you more of the latest research in health and wellness, as well as possible product reviews and offers. This doesn’t mean in any way that I will not report on the other important issues for ladies, including current world events. But with the help of my readers, we can take this site in the direction you want it to go. I hope you will continue to visit Her Daily News and let me know how I am doing. The Girls’ Water Cooler is open to all topics and all points of view, so please chime in any time!

If you haven’t voted in the poll yet, it is still open. Simply enter your votes below, or submit an Other response with a topic not listed that you would like to know more about.

Her Daily News, reader interest, poll

When Mary and Joseph Mwanisawa agreed to travel over 15,000 miles to attend the second annual gala to benefit the Kids of Kilimanjaro school lunch program, they thought they were going to America only to tell their story about how much the program was improving their community. They didn’t know they would also be receiving a full medical examination — the first of their lives.

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In light of the USA celebrating Labor Day on Monday, September 3, I thought I would ask my readers. What is the one thing about your job that is really irritating, annoying, or nerve-wracking that other people could fix easily? Often times there are small things that happen that normally we would not notice. However, when it becomes a frequent or even daily occurance because it is part of your job, the small things can become dreadful things.

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Afgha.com has reported that five women-owned stores in the city of Mazar-e Sharif are doing well. The women’s affairs department helped the women set up their retail shops, something almost unheard of in Afghanistan.

The success of these lady-owned and operated business led to the provincial governor laying the foundation stone for the Women’s Garden, a planned shopping center for 200 more stores. Men as well as women will be allowed to shop there, though it was pointed out that, “officials say their behaviour will be closely monitored.” As expected, there have been some disagreements among religious leaders over the rights of these females, but there are many local clerics who see it as a positive step.

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I write two blogs here for 451 Press. My other blog is at Life as a Christian Woman. Although I try to keep the two separate, I wanted to give Her Daily News readers a chance to join in today’s activities “over there.”

Jocelyn Andersen is the author of “Woman Submit! Christians & Domestic Violence.” She is appearing on Life as a Christian Woman today to talk about her book and answer questions and comments from readers. She is a domestic abuse survivor and has joined in the movement for churches to catch up with the secular world in providing support and safety for battered women. In Jocelyn’s case, her husband was a minister. The recent case of televangelist Juanita Bynum being attacked by her husband, also a minister, tells us that this problem is more widespread than we would like to think among Christian marriages.

I hope you will join us today to welcome Ms. Andersen and join in the conversation. Women around the world are fighting for their lives, and for the rights to be more than property and possessions in their relationships. The churches have a responsibility to help in this fight. It is through people like Ms. Andersen, and events like her appearance today, that will enable us to begin networking the resources and willing workers to bring about change not only in the Christian communities, but for any woman is living in fear for her life.

books, Jocelyn Andersen, domestic violence, abuse, christian women, religion

I actually found this clip while searching through the online site Lankaweb, a news and opinion site on Sri Lanka. The video clip features Arab-American psychologist Wafa Sultan on an Al-Jazeer broadcast. Clearly, her views expressed in the video could put her life jeopardy. At the same time, her speech is a bold statement made by a woman who has seen and studied both the effects of oppression and of freedom, not just in the war between Iraq and America, but for women around the world.

The best explanation ever

Here is One impressive woman making a huge difference with her powerful and amazing statements on Al jazeera television. The woman is Wafa Sultan, an Arab-American psychologist from Los Angeles. I would suggest watching it ASAP because I don’t know how long the link will be active. This film clip should be shown around the world repeatedly !

Watch video

women’s news, international woman, video, women’s rights

Spend your Sunday in your underwear and still shop! These great deals are available online so you don’t even to shower if you don’t want to.

Target.com Isaac Mizrahi for Target Wrap Shirtdress in Ebony. The wrap dress is good look for almost any shape, and the length of this one is perfect. The flowing skirt speaks to your “my hips are too big” issues, while the structured waist band just screams for a cool, contrasting belt. If you also have waist issues, forego the belt to keep the monochromatic scheme and add contrast in a short necklace and shoes. The $39.99 price tag is only available online.

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At age 6, Darlene took her first guitar lesson. By 25, she was playing in a band and recording music. Last March, she purchased new digital, programmable hearing aids. “Since I have had this problem all my life, I don’t view it as challenging so much.” Her problem is congenital deafness.

I interviewed Darlene Hagler about her upcoming performance for Art in the Park in Mint Hill, NC. She will be a solo performer on Sunday, August 26, 2007, for the festival which started three years ago to showcase artists, musicians, and local talents. 20 years ago, Darlene and her band traveled all over North Carolina and recorded a couple of demos. “We even had fans!” she quipped. Adult life and responsibilities crept in and the band went their separate ways, but Darlene still enjoys playing.

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How Fares the Fairer Sex? is a new series that will feature a brief look at some of the top headlines for women. In this first edition, we will look at Reese Witherspoon, Natascha Kampusch, Skinny Bitch, and Leona Helmsley’s mansioleum.

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