Her Daily News sources reported seeing Julia Sugarbaker with Whoopi Goldberg after The View on which Ms. Goldberg stated Michael Vick supported dog fights because he was from the South. Ms. Sugarbaker, well known for her defense of the South on Designing Women, reportedly ranked Goldberg’s statements in the same category as the news reporter who once wrote that Southerners eat dirt. Our confidential sources tell us they were able to eavesdrop on the conversation between Sugarbaker and Goldberg, and the Atlanta-based designer was not there for a friendly meeting.
Sugarbaker: I would like a word with you, Mizz Goldberg.
Goldberg: Julia! Of course! Where’ve you been, baby?
Sugarbaker: Well, it would seem I have been sitting in my gazebo sipping Mint Juleps and watching dogs fight. That is what you said, isn’t it, that we in the South just love a good dog fight?
Goldberg: Did I say that?
Sugarbaker: Well, you certainly did allude to it on your show today. But you see, Mizz Goldberg, we Southerners love our dogs. Why, in the state of Alabama, there is even a coon dog graveyard. The best and most beloved coon dogs get to spend eternity in their very own cemetary, complete with headstones and tree lined walkways. To imply that the unfortunate Mr. Vick fought, and murdered mind you, dogs because he was Southern is just ludicris. I suppose if one could sell dirt pies while waiting for Ol’ Yeller to bare his teeth, it might be more attractive for some, but I can assure you, Mizz Goldberg, I have never attended such an event. The South as a general rule is not in the habit of rearing heartless, cold-blooded, canine-murderers whose only goal in life is to ruin a perfectly good dog. No, Mizz Goldberg, it takes years of self-absorbed greed and holier-than-thou conceit to produce such as he, whether he be Southern, a Yankee, or a little green man from Mars. You see, it is people like you and that Yankee reporter saying we fight dogs, or eat dirt, that perpetuates the ignorance of true Southern culture. We love our dogs, Mizz Goldberg, just as we love our kids, our families, and our heritage. If you wish, you may continue to sit on your designer chair in your overly lit studio with your delusions that people actually give a hoot about what you have to say. But the next time you pick on someone’s culture, I suggest you take some time to truly learn what it is you are pretending to know. We Southerners, Mizz Goldberg, do not take lightly to being picked on, and Hell itself will freeze over before we allow you to pick on our dogs.
Our sources tell us that Ms. Sugarbaker then left the scene. No reply was obtained, nor sought, from Ms. Goldberg.
No representation is made that Ms. Goldberg frequently speaks with fictional characters.
The View, Whoopi Goldberg, humor, Southern Culture, Designing Women, Michael Vick, dog fights