Her Daily News

The Center for Women’s Mental Health at Massachusetts General Hospital has a fabulous website. I have been a fan of it for years checking every few months or so for new links and information. I perused the site daily for a few weeks earlier this year just after my son was born when I was really having trouble shaking the depression and anxiety I was experiencing. I am familiar with depression and it shouldn’t have taken me so long to identify that I was experiencing PPD, Postpartum Depression. However, PPD is tricky like that, it masquerades as tiredness, irritability, hating your husband, hating the lady who comes to clean your house, hating your saggy still fat body, hating everything and yelling often, saying bad things about yourself, the signs and symptoms are as different as each person who experiences this. For the record I never had any negative feelings toward the baby at all, although many women think that PPD means you are mad at your baby. I was just really unhappy with myself. Also for the record, since I seem to be “recording” things here, I did not seek medical help, I did not take any psychiatric medication (although I should have) , and once I was able to join a local gym and get out of the house, alone, and get some exercise, along with other things, mentally at least things started to fall into a much better place for me. **It isn’t this simple for many others, however.

I’m sure a lot of women go straight to the doctor and ask for a prescription of an SSRI and they get better. There are also a lot of women who seek out a good therapist and the talking helps them get to a better place.

I was not either of those women.

I was and still am nursing my son who is eight months old at the time of this article. I recall being told by one nurse in one doctor’s office that if I were to experience PPD they would “stop my breastfeeding to allow my hormones to re-regulate and then evaluate the situation” and because of this I was absolutely scared out of my DD-nursing bra that if I even hinted to anyone that I was feeling a bit, oh, irritable? that I would be forced to give up my nursing. I love nursing. It works well for me with this baby and I enjoy it. I didn’t want to give it up, not at any cost. So I didn’t tell anyone.

Turns out that was bad information. And it did me a disservice. There are many options for women experiencing anything from mild to severe PPD. There are many medication options and many non-medication options. I didn’t feel like I had anyone to talk to about it and I fear that many many many other mothers feel the same way. Being a new mom is hard. Excruciatingly difficult, terrifyingly isolating, you feel like your body is permanently destroyed, you don’t have time to finish a sentence with your spouse and you feel like the world is going on and you are chained to a chair feeding and rocking a delicate ever-needy baby.

This article about breastfeeding and psychiatric medication gives a good overview of the basis for most medical decisions regarding PPD and nursing moms.

I feel strongly about helping other women get the information they need to have an easier postpartum experience. I will write more on this topic again soon and often.

Another great postpartum website is Postpartum.net

** I fear I am oversimplifing my situation and I don’t mean to do that. I will address this topic again soon with more honesty , clarity and useful information.