Her Daily News

Beth from Astrology Explored continues her Problems at Work series with this post on the zodiac and management style.

The Twelve Bastard Bosses of the Zodiac

We all have them, the people who make our lives miserable by their constant insistence of productivity. Management style however, is little more than a recap of the signs of the zodiac. Here’s how it breaks down:

The fire signs, Aries, Leo and Sagittarius have one overriding desire. Whatever they want they want it NOW! Too bad that you were out sick with the Ebola virus, if you missed a deadline, it was your fault. Your doctor’s note will be crumbled and tossed in the nearest wastebasket, despite the notation, “I have advised Ms. Smith that she needs a least another two weeks recovery time from her near death experience.” He doesn’t care and never will. Your illness is your problem, after all, and it did inconvenience him that you were out. He may have actually done some of your work, which may have convinced him that he doesn’t need you after all. Never mind that he mucked up the work, it got done, didn’t it?

They thrive on motion and commotion. They are expects at crisis management because they cause so much of it. Get out of the way and duck. They’ll think you are bowing to them, which after all is nothing more than they deserve.

The earth signs, Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn live for order and control. Forget shaving five minutes off your work day by being late. It doesn’t matter if your little Susie had a meltdown at daycare, you should have been prepared for that and left home earlier. Your desk a less than perfect picture of tidiness? Kiss your next promotion or raise goodbye. These people do not believe and empty desk is the sign of a an empty mind. Just look at their desk. And don’t bother taking a personal call at work. These people have a finally honed radar that will have them at your cubicle the minute you pick up the phone. Why are these people so finely tuned to the pulse of the workplace? It’s their job to make sure that not a second of productivity is wasted and they take their jobs very, very seriously You’ll be reminded of that at your next performance review.

The air signs, Gemini, Libra and Aquarius live for the generation of ideas which is not bad in and of itself. It is bad that they generate so many of them and expect all of them to be implemented at once. Forget trying to keep up with these whirlwinds of activity. Their agile minds are always active. You’ll only burn yourself out trying to keep up with them. Fortunately for everyone, they often forget many of their suggestions on their own. The trick is learning to weed through them to pick out which ones really needs to be worked on. Otherwise, you’ll spend precious hours on one project only to be challenged by the boss “What are you doing wasting your time on that?” A “You told me to” just isn’t going to cut it. Watch them roll their eyes as you get one of their famous lectures, this time on the value of prioritizing your work. There is just one way to protect yourself from your air sign boss. Practice controlled procrastination. Only until they ask you for a project the second time, do you produce it. Just make sure you get it them that day. They can’t wait all day you know. Yes, you know.

The water signs, Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces focus on making sure of one thing, that they keep their job. Why are they so focused on this? They are sure you are out to take it from them. Water signs instinctively know they are a mess both emotionally and organizationally, but they aren’t giving up their salaries or corporate perks just to satisfy you. They have their own goals, you know, like keeping their house and keeping their spouse happy. They are not known as risk takers, and their greatest asset to the company is that they aren’t going anywhere.

This is also your greatest problem if you hope to climb the corporate ladder. See how this works? They practically beg to be taken out. However, this a mistake because their radar will pick up on your ambitions and counter measures are in place. What counter measures? You don’t really want to know, but their reputation of being snoops are well deserved. With these folks, what happens in Vegas is their ammunition.

If you want a sign-by-sign blow of your Bastard Boss check out this
book: Bosstrology–The Twelve Bastard Bosses of the Zodiac

astrology, zodiac, astrology at work, bosstrology, boss zodiac